I have a very particular set of skills
Tip #9: Make a list of things you're good at
This post is part of a series I’m writing from mid-June to mid-November 2024, on things that helped me rebuild my confidence, sense of self, and increased my delight in my life after massive difficulty in multiple areas. For full details and post links to all 110 things, go to this post here.
Alright besties, let’s get back into this. July is here and leaving, diving into the self growth before the fall is the move.
Tip #9 – make a list of things you are good at
I swear it, you’re good at something.
This task, to capture those skills, collect them, assemble them for quick reference when your brain feels mean, it’s a worthy use of some minutes.
I’ve done this and it’s tough for me, but I find it useful in indicating two things.
First, this list shows you areas where you’re like, I have some skill at this thing. You actually do. Maybe you’re boss at Excel. Maybe you’re really good at being creative. Maybe you’re empathetic AF. Maybe you know how to be generous. Maybe you’re incredible at chemistry. There’s stuff you can do with a skill level that is not zero. Accepting that that is a true thing is a good practice.
Second, this list making showed me, and it might for you, what things I want to cultivate more skills for, or a deeper mastery of. When I make this list for myself or think on it, it always prompts the thought of new skills I want to accumulate and reminds me of how I could go deeper on some of the other ones I have some competence with already.
And that right there above is of value, my beloveds, because it means you’re recognizing, or starting to figure out some areas you want to explore with your time and talent and put some energy into!
There is a seed of curiosity.
There is a spark of intention.
There is an avenue for energy.
I love that for us.
It’s easy to forget it but you’re actually really good at something. Probably a few somethings, several even (several definitely). So the confidence we are building by honestly accepting and noting the skills we have, helps us see our strengths as they are, and helps us feel that we can continue to develop others.
Here’s mine. I wrote this train of thought style and am gonna just share it because I think it might be of value to observe the little hiccup that I still stumble with regarding this type of work.
Wrote this yesterday (7/15 so it’s fresh as of this posting).
I am good at making cookies. I am a good mother. I am a good librarian, a good listener, good at observing, good at being alone, good at wanting to know things (being curious). I am good at driving. I am good at loyalty. I am good at reading. I am good at wanting to help. I am good at sleeping - at this point in my own list making I am feeling braggy and for every single one of these things I come up with I am thinking of 4 or that I am lacking, that I want to do better, that I am pretty bad at…
Stating a state of goodness instead of “I am getting better at” which still applies, is a tough thing because it feels against my training to never say something positive about myself, that’s for other people to do and for me to dispute, but it is an acceptance that there are things at which I am competent. I still need to practice.
Even though I’ve been working on these things that helped for the last 5 years, even though my growth has been exponential and significant enough for neighbors to thing I was a different person completely, I STILL annoyingly struggle with just laying down the facts of my competence and completing the sentence “I am good at…”
It is still a struggle.
But, instead of getting harsh at myself I’m gonna take my own advice about it that I just outlined to you.
I’m accepting that my being good at those things is true, it is. I’m recognizing too that “I want to get better at/I am getting better at” is also a valuable thing to say because it recognizes improvement and growth and a continuation of the practice of progress in all the ways. No refuting that as a valid thing to think.
I am taking note also of the other things I want to get better yet that I have a desire to be skilled in (skateboarding because that’s cool, French and Spanish - I know a little of both but it’s basically not useful practically, all the art involving paint, cooking so I can better feed myself and be at ease in those processes of tending to myself, yoga because I want to be able to do a handstand someday and stay bendy and limber until I’m gone, etc.)
Anyway.
That’s the tip for today.
What are you good at? I’d love to know your skills. I’d love to know your areas of competence. I’d love to know the skills you want to develop further.
Love you - talk soon.
xx-Marian