I'm the trash man

Tip #30 - go through your closet

This post is part of a series I’m writing from mid-June to mid-November 2024, on things that helped me rebuild my confidence, sense of self, and increased my delight in my life after massive difficulty in multiple areas. For full details and post links to all 110 things, go to this post here.

Tip #30 - Go through your closet

(this is Dakota Johnson’s closet - to be that ray of sunshine ugh - actress or from the skylight)

Similar to tip #11 in which I told you to throw it out, this also is about purging the excess weight of physical things that often drag us down mentally too.

Keeping what sparks joy might be a little woo, but we’re all used to that phrase now and if you flip it that means you’ll end up with your space full of things that do spark joy, are functional, and that are of actual value to you because of that.

I’m not trying to sell you the Kondo way of being, but I am a firm supporter of - even if it doesn’t always look like it in my own house - not keeping extra stuff that you don’t need, that’s not useful or of some type of value to your life. I’m in progress with this constantly. Separating out stuff that I don’t need when I don’t always know what I actually need is kinda very annoying to do.

(this is why we kick that shit right out the door and into the dump/to be donated)

Recently I got a new set of cutlery because I wanted something that wasn’t from my marriage and the set I chose is pretty lame. But now I know and will choose something else that’s better eventually.

Anyway, this one is specifically about closets.

Why closets?

Because we like to hide things in there.

The benefits of tending your storage space are just as valuable as tending the other spaces.

During that first summer - which was a covid year - when my kids were with their dad and it was before I’d gotten Harry, I pulled all the stuff out of the closets, and did a big sift through. A massive purge of things.

Getting rid of so much stuff that was collecting there after moving 5 times in twice as many years was so needed. And because someone voided their desires to keep any of it, to save anything, didn’t want to have anything mailed, I got to decide exactly how to fill the storage spaces.

What was I going to choose to save?

It was my call. Finally mine to make.

Same with the closet in my bedroom.

It’s a small thing, being in charge of your own closet, your own chosen saved things. But it has value.

I got rid of jackets that never fit and clothes that made me feel bad, or like the old version of me that I didn’t want to be anymore. I donated what was good. Rented a dumpster and tossed out a massive amount of things. I found half started projects that I now and then recognized as some desperate attempt I was making to find a way to feel fulfilled in the life I had, then tried not to feel guilty about that just promised to do better about it and I have, I found decorations - some that I saved, photo albums that I hadn’t seen in too long, lots of stuff I had unpacked when we moved in and decided to deal with later - then later never came till it did. I don’t even remember anymore.

I even tossed out some Very Acceptable Boxes.

If you’re at a certain age you know what I mean by a Very Acceptable Box. It was worth it, there are more boxes, and now more space in my closets too.

Here’s the thing too - as you go along you’re going to accumulate more things, like right now, it’s been about 5 years since I started this shift and I’m feeling the massive need to shed another layer, recreate the new image of what’s next, and yes that extends to the closets.

It definitely extends to the clothes in them, the shoes, the things I’ve kept for this long that are due for a reassessment, the top shelf of my closet specifically I gotta go through that one.

Some of these don’t have easy solutions. I don’t know what to do with older pictures of my and the kid’s dad. They might want to see them sometime, I don’t really but I feel like I should hang on to some of those. I still have to get dressed and go to work while I figure out a better wardrobe for my self and my bod and I’m learning more who I am and what I like and as I exercise the bod changes too.

The magnitude of child art is also rather significant. I haven’t solved that one but need to. It can also be tough when your own family starts to clean their closets out and brings you boxes of stuff they’ve declared to be “yours” and I feel the best thing to do with this is say thanks and then donate what you can later. I doubt you even missed what was in that box anyway.

What I know for sure is that clearing out the obvious stuff is absolutely helpful. And even more helpful is making sure the corners, the storage areas, the deep pockets of your brain - literally and figuratively - are clean in their energy, using their spaces well, and giving you space to shape your environment.

Clean a closet this weekend - or don’t, do what you want, but give it some thought. It’s a helpful activity.

When I do this I like to put on some show or movie series that’s a little repetitive and doesn’t require total focus. The Fast and Furious movies are good for this.

Your home is in you and you are your home.

Being able to be the source of all you really need, tangible things aside, is a nice feeling. Selecting what you like and use and not being swarmed in what you don’t is a freeing thing.

Anyway - it’s a small one but a good practice.

ilysm - Marian