Nourish

Tip #26 - hydrate and eat well - however that looks for your body

This post is part of a series I’m writing from mid-June to mid-November 2024, on things that helped me rebuild my confidence, sense of self, and increased my delight in my life after massive difficulty in multiple areas. For full details and post links to all 110 things, go to this post here.

Tip #26 - hydrate and eat well - however that looks for your body

Food can be tricky sometimes. To specify and speak only for myself, the fueling part of taking care of one’s self is hard for me. Requires an effort, a conscious one, to make myself good food, prepare it ahead of time, make my lunches for work, drink enough water, it’s just not something I’ve got figured out yet as automatically as I see other people able to navigate it.

I’m way better than I used to be about it, and like everything else here it’s been a build up of little steps of progress that’s been equalling measurable big improvements.

But still. When I’m stressed I end up eating more carbs, or nothing at all and when I get anxious I forget to eat and then don’t do a good job eating well. Then I’m tired because I’ve fueled my meat suit mammal being inadequately so of course I can’t function as best I can and of course I’m tired…It compounds and has been a source of much stress as well which…cue the continuation of the cycle.

This tip - as they all are - is for me and it’s again about intention and again about having permission to do what I need and chill out about the rest of it.

I lost a lot of weight after my separation and the divorce, which was actually a good thing and happened pretty naturally. I had been using food as an outlet for my problems and as a coping, a comfort, and wasn’t healthy. Once my body was able to relax and chill out again, I started to have space to figure out how to eat again in healthy ways and I know what works for me now. Figuring that out has taken a very long time.

I’m still reworking how to make sure I’m feeding myself what I need when I need it, but I know more of what works for me now, and that’s helpful. Eating too much pasta makes me sad (though I haven’t tried this in Italy and plan to experiment with this to see if it’s internationally true or just a US bound truth for me). I like almond butter but not peanut butter. I have identified some “no brakes” stuff that I don’t buy anymore because I have weak willpower - nerds clusters specifically are a hard one to quit once that bag is open. I’m too old for Costco cake not to haunt me later.

It might be controversial, but I don’t really like eating first thing in the morning. I like eating around 11. I love girl dinner, and struggle often to figure out what to plan for meals day after day when the kids are home, just because it’s relentless but we eat and it’s fine. Working on it. I feel good too when I stop eating at 8pm. Love a feast but that’s a sometimes thing.

I rarely step on my scale anymore - I can get too fixed in the numbers and then some disordered habits start to take up too much real estate in my head. So I like to focus on how I feel in my skin, how my walks go, and piece it together.

The most revelatory thing I’ve learned to do is to just take what works for me and do that - just like with everything else.

I also had to learn to say no a lot actually with my food and eating journey. Sounds odd a little maybe but in family meals over the years there’s a culture sometimes where you eat whatever is made, show no preferences, have seconds, and obviously there’s gratitude for someone else cooking a meal for me, but I don’t have to eat things that make me feel bad, and that doesn’t mean that anyone who provided my food did anything bad. It sounds weird, but like, that’s a thing I grew up with and had to talk myself through as an adult.

Often, even still, the first thing commented upon when seeing immediate family is how I look. You’re so skinny, what a nice figure, you’d look so much better in colors, you don’t look like you’ve had kids, shit like that that is meant as complimentary I do believe, but also makes me really uncomfortable. And then when paired with what is often pressure to get ice cream on family outings when dairy really effs me up sometimes doesn’t mean I’m being ungrateful to say no to, you know? I don’t have to eat things that make me feel bad. Learning to say no in lots of things includes this situation of food stuff. If I don’t want to eat something, I don’t have to.

Subtle, like maybe really obvious for some people but it wasn’t for me. Has been so important to learn.

The TLDR for me of this one is that I can’t be housing bags of nerds and then being upset if I feel bad. I’m a full adult, I know if I do that it’s gonna make me feel awful. Like duh. Application of the duh, that’s the all of it.

Support you and what you need for your bod.

Make your own rules about what you need for your best functioning.

Then honestly approach things that way, knowing you can edit and keep plenty of wiggle room to adjust, keep space for the phases of life and stress and comfort and joy.

And drink your water.

I kinda hate drinking water - except for this one really good water with lemon and stuff, that’s refreshing af. I love that water - it legit helps. I’m gonna drink it more often.

Nourish well and hydrate - ilysm

xx-Marian