YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE GOOD
Tip #38 - make something from scratch, anything
This post is part of a series I’m writing from mid-June to the end of 2024 or whenever it ends, on things that helped me rebuild my confidence, sense of self, and increased my delight in my life after massive difficulty in multiple areas. For full details and post links to all 110 things, go to this post here.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
Yes, thank you, Mary.
She’s right though, as always.
Tip #38 - make something from scratch, anything!
You do not have to be good.
Which is today’s tip.
You just need to BE.
(a very good from scratch chocolate cake I think I need to make again this winter)
Feel free to linger in the mind of Mary Oliver, that is always time well spent - but when you’re ready, the prompt of this is to just make something so that you can accomplish a few things.
When I was struggling in some really really dark moments a few years ago, I talked to myself about this.
It felt like I wasn’t “getting anything done” or making progress or even doing anything.
I was sleeping a lot, which was needed and was helping to heal me, but at a certain point I knew I needed to start using other muscles that had been dormant for a long time.
Making type of muscles.
I needed to let myself be bad at things so I could accept that and not care about it anymore.
I needed to work on overcoming the fear of creating that really does seem to cripple a lot of wonderful talented people at the knees.
I needed to work on going through the steps of having an idea and acting on it and finishing the thing.
I was starting a lot of things over from scratch - learning to parent myself, learning to have a job and commute and career and coworkers, learning to be a single parent, learning how to handle the pandemic, learning how to date and what healthy relationships were and were not, learning how to feed myself, and loads more.
A lot of things from scratch.
I’m definitely not recommending we ignore the relatively helpful conveniences of modern life, and I’m also choosing for the message of this to assume you are making as ethically conscious choices about how we participate in this economy as you and I both can without feeling crippled another way, and I don’t really recommend going about it from the seed up as this dude chose to - but good for him I guess, we’re all on our own journey - what I am suggesting is to just do a thing from start to finish on our own and for your own.
(best things I ever made from scratch right there)
It doesn’t have to be big.
IT DOES NOT HAVE TO BE GOOD.
It just needs to BE.
Proof of bringing something to reality from the idea in your head - for breakfast, for a creative project, for a business venture, for an outfit, whatever - is needed when we’re in a space of unsure-ness in our abilities.
It helps us flex the muscles that aren’t like your biceps but in your brains and hearts.
It helps us remember how to interact with our literal world, and reminds us how we move through it.
Making something from scratch, a doodle, a muffin, a poem, a card for a friend, it reminds us of our human agency and what we have control of and how we want to use our lives.
It’s possible you’ll make something from scratch and decide you’ll never do it again.
Guess what, that’s also valuable.
I used to make a lot of things from scratch.
Looking back at this I think it was the obsession I was hiding in because I didn’t want to face or accept the other messes and budding crises around me.
I used to make clothes from scratch.
I used to make intricate meals from scratch - and let’s be clear, intricate for me… so not a very high level of competence or gourmet, but still, there was effort involved and I wasn’t terrible at it.
(a from scratch painting adventure)
I used to make arts and crafts from scratch too and a lot of these things I was making from scratch were things other people had already made finished products of that I could’ve bought.
While some of these really were just distractions to me, I learned a lot in the doing.
Besides the fact I don’t ever want to make anyone a pair of pants again, I also now know what it takes to make a clothing pattern and to pick out fabric and to install a zipper and to hem things and I don’t need to do that myself anymore.
But I have an appreciation for the work it takes, the steps involved, etc to make a pair of pants and that was valuable.
In other areas it is more immediately satisfying.
The first few times I figured out how to cook just for me, based on an idea for something I was craving and then made the thing I wanted and it worked, those were such awesome mood boosters.
Nothing I’d make for anyone else probably, but again YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE GOOD. You just have to be.
Make a cake from scratch, or use a box mix that’s fine too.
Make yourself a bookmark, write a haiku, get some of that modeling clay and make a duck, go out and take a picture and take another picture and take it the way you want to take it, make yourself a collage of your future, make a goal, make an idea real.
That’s all it is.
Making whatever you want from scratch without any pressure to be anything besides existing, is a demonstration that you can, in fact, DO things.
The practice of it right now is what we’re after - start to finish something.
Doesn’t matter what.
Doesn’t have to be good.
I still do this. I still use this tip.
I still feel stuck, overwhelmed, inadequate, doubtful of myself, doubtful that I’ll work it all out, stuck with a desire to do things but no ability - it happens, those feelings still roll up to the front sometimes like the worst type of fart (lol not sorry - it’s an apt comparison).
When those come up again, I’ll make something from scratch. I’ll paint something from a blank space. I’ll build a nonsense sculpture with my kids legos. I’ll make muffins, soup, banana bread, I’ll write a terrible poem nobody will see and then “edit” it until it feels “done” and that I have expressed what I wanted.
I will prove to myself, again, that I actually can think - do - complete anything.
That makes it easier to remember my skills, remember my worth, remember I’m a valuable soul with just for being here and giving it a shot.
And I remember that sucking at something new is the legit first step of anything new you’re trying or returning to.
And I remember that stacking those days of practice, from scratch, piece by piece and step by step is literally how to do anything.
From scratch is a good place to be.
Making from scratch is proof.
Making from scratch is a starting.
That’s where the materials are.
That’s where you spring upwards from.
Go make something.
Bonus points if it sucks.
Wishing I could mail y’all some from scratch cookies,
ilysm - Marian
